We’re getting the house re-wired. Just the phones. OK, and some of the Internet cables. When we bought the house 19 years ago I swore I’d rip out the crunchy carpet in the master bedroom right away, but first things first.


Our house was used when we got it. Pre-owned. By someone who I’m guessing ran a telephone soliciting enterprise out of the basement. I’ve never seen so many wires. None of them went any place, like to a phone jack. Every electrician who’s ever worked on the house has been asked to “fix anything that you’d want fixed in your own house.” You’d think that’s like handing someone a blank check. Not so. Our wiring was just too frightening.

Admittedly, I added to the problem by coming up with creative solutions when I needed a phone, fax, or computer somewhere and the electrician “de jour” said it couldn’t be done. This would be why we have telephone cord and cables going down my quilted clothes chute, snaking under carpet, and coiled up in the corner of the living room. It was NOT my idea to run the phone cord from one part of the house to the other via the rain gutter. I am not kidding. We have a phone cord IN the rain gutter. (I just learned that.)


Thingies For Splitting Phone Lines Come In Handy!I am responsible for splitting lines with those cute little snap in connector thingies sold in office supply stores. These are just the extra ones I’m not using at the moment.


I am also the one who ran the phone cord for the fax machine from one side of Debbie’s office to the other by drilling a hole in the floor, looping the “extension” cord under the heat duct in the rafters in the basement, and fishing it back up through the floor on the other side. I got pretty close to the wall when I drilled the hole up through the floor, buy hey, that’s why we have furniture.


And when the so-called “professional” installer from Vonage showed up it was I who explained how to make all the phones in the house ring from the FOUR daisy-chained Vonage “devices” jammed behind my computer monitor. (Just pass me one of those connector thingies.)


Mike is our very capable electrician from Hinterman Electric who will take things like THIS and make it all better. (Notice the color-coded duct tape so I can remember which cord goes to what line?)


Can you hear me NOW?

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12 thoughts on “Wired

  1. Oh, how funny! I thought I was the only one who did things like that. My mom has an ancient phone system and DishTV wanted her hooked up. I have a line going down the laundry chute from one floor to the next in order to accomplish this. The hookups for phone and internet in my house look a lot like yours. I don’t have a line in the gutter, though! I own LOTS of those little connectors, splitters, and phone lines.


  2. You just made me feel better, I am waiting on cable guy right now and I was worried about our home-made solution to getting cable to a tv across from their outlet. I am pretty sure mine is less complicated than yours. Our l00 year old house has many wiring issues…… my son-in-law is training to be an electrican so maybe some day I can get this all fixed. Now if other daughter marries a plumber!! (only joking)


  3. Oh my Ami,
    It might be easier to just buy a new house!
    You seem to have a wiring nightmare….. You were fortunate to find a great electrician. I don’t know how you managed a business and household without an electrical fire or at the least a meltdown……..

    I am glad it is now managed/organized for you.


    No where near done, but should be….soon….. ~Ami


  4. Hey – maybe it was wired by the “I Don’t Care” Construction Company. Didn’t they work on your house when you first moved in? LOL Hang in there. At least you have phone service and not a tin can.


  5. Yes, this all looks familiar. (My internet lines runs above the gutter, thru the wall, over the door…well you get the idea). When we built our home in 1984, I personally ran all sorts of lines to BE SURE that there were plenty of plug ins, etc in every room. Even ran a phone line into the bathroom. But something happened along the way and I have power strips, line splits etc all over. It doesn’t help that I work at home and have all of that extra equipment!


  6. 1. Our builder “forgot” to install internal wiring for telephones when he built the house — we still have a telephone wire running around the outside of the house (tucked up under the rain gutter)…

    2. And my husband thought I was awful when I used multi plugs and extension cords to do our outside Christmas lights (think Clark Griswold)…

    Thanks for the giggles (and I’m so glad you are having this “cleaned up” and “fixed”).


  7. This is so funny I had to reply. Your’s is not so bad as mine. After 20 years in the same house, 4 ingenious teenagers, 5 televisions, 4 to 6 telephones (incldunig 2 phone lines, one for dedicated line to computer), cable tv then switched to a satellite tv service, 2 computers and heaven knows how many room family occupant /swap changes through the years. I cringe whenever the telephone man has to come. I bet if the lines were stretched out from where we live would go to Brooklyn…. LOL.
    Sue in Missouri


  8. When will Mike, the very capable electrician from Hinterman Electric, be taking up residence in your local mental health facility? In Grand Rapids, we call it Pine Rest. It’s a lovely facility (though not inexpensive – my marketing professor told me never to use the word cheap), but he would be very happy here and I would visit him.

    Melinda McCabe


  9. Okay. How can you possibly mention in passing the “Quilted Clothes Chute” and not elaborate??? I improvised my own laundry chute with leftover fabric but it was one large piece of relatively ugly stuff I’d gotten for free. I just have to know about this quilted clothes chute. Possibly a picture? Thanks!! Love, Sandy in NJ


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