The Dress (More Than You Ever Wanted To Know)

I started looking for my Mother-0f-the-Bride dress in February and on the first day (after about a dozen stores) I found it. The price tag was $650.  I tried it on anyway, loved it, and heard my mouth explain to my friend Susan that “I could make this.” Susan and I have been friends since grade school. We played with Troll dolls. I sewed outfits for the cat. How hard could replicating a designer gown be?

It was actually two dresses, one over the other.  I figured the “under-dress” didn’t much matter because it would be covered by the kaftan that went over it. I could screw it up pretty good before anyone would notice. The kaftan was just a wad of fabric with a head hole and seams up the side.  Piece of cake. I would use some of the silk my mother bought years ago, so the fabric would be from my mom and “free.”  I was all goosebumply; it was meant to be.  And I learned from the cat that if you moved really fast, it was the overall impression that mattered, not the details.

The first thing I had to learn about was silk. I’m all cotton all the time. There are more different kinds of silks than you can shake a stick at. I had no idea. Thick thin, nubby smooth, slick, rough. I decided the kaftan silk felt like chiffon. My mother had a whole bolt of it!  Yipee! I was all set. Then I measured. It had to go from my toes, over my head and back down to my heels, and when I stuck my arms out, it had to hit me just above my wrists. Mom had the yardage, but not the width. Hello, Dharma Trading.

By now I’m several months into the project, without having actually done anything. I’m percolating. Thinking. I had the fabric (ordered generously, twice, in case I messed up), and I had the dye (also double what I thought I needed). I just couldn’t figure out how to dye it. What I do is technically “dye painting,” and the full piece of silk (all 6 yards of it, that’s 18 feet for you English majors) has to rest on a single, flat surface (no cracks, lumps, or bumps) or it has to be suspended. Who has a table that big?!

I wound up sewing the silk to old pole skrunchies from one of my booths at Quilt Market. I threaded them on to two sets of extra long (king size) sticks from my hand quilting frame. I duct-taped the short ends together creating an 18-foot x 54″ dying frame (trampoline) in the backyard with about 17 C-clamps, two saw horses, and several quilt frame legs. It fell over several times before I got the supports in just the right place.

After the silk was in the frame, we hosed it down with the hose. I wanted the color to run and move.

(Note: squirt the hose at something else first so that all the little particles of crud that accumulated after a winter hanging in the garage go someplace other than on the silk.)

I loaded five different colors into spray bottles and hit the silk one at a time. Debbie, my fearless assistant, followed me around squirting water on the color blobs. Then I swooshed and mooshed the blobs with my gloved hands until they dried, picking off stray bugs, grass particles, and debris from the wind, which, if not removed, make spots on the silk. Of course the gloves leaked.

The next day I dyed the second chunk of silk and the silk for the under-dress, a small purse, and a pair of underpants.

I used a commercial pattern for the under-dress. Just my silhouette would show as the sheer chiffon swished around me. I made two “muslins” to test the pattern. Making them out of less expensive muslin saved my silk, especially since the sizing on the pattern was way off. Off-the-rack and tissue paper patterns apparently are not in synch. Plus, it’s hard sewing 6/8″ seam allowances when you’re used to a scant quarter-inch. Also note: if you’re going to replace your 35-year-old strapless bra, the one you wore on your own wedding day, do so before you make the muslin. Ten minutes before we walked down the aisle, Jennie had to safety-pin the back of my under-dress to keep the fabric under my arms from flapping.

I machine-washed the silk after I dyed it, and then I made the mistake of ironing it. Chiffon is a loose weave (which is why it is sheer). Washing the silk shrank it. (I was told as much as 15%.) Ironing it (so I could cut it) made it grow! Thankfully I did a test on a 45″ square and notice the difference when I ironed it and then squirted it with water to relax it. The silk sample moved so much I thought it was alive!

So, after I ironed the dyed yardage to get the wrinkles out I hung it and spritzed it, to relax it.

It took almost a week to work up the nerve to cut into the dyed chiffon, and to pick which chunk to cut. (Remember, I had two!) I used part of one piece to practice on the head hole. No pattern; I was flying without a net. Just finding the center (length and width) was a huge pain. Silk moves. You lay it down and it shifts and drifts. It refuses to line up against any line. I hung it over a quilt display rack, brought the selvages together, and the torn edges, and thread basted a center width and length!

Kaftans are odd. All they have is a head hole, side seams, and a hem. I didn’t want it riding back (and choking me) so I cut the head hole more to the front than to the back.

Ever a quilter, I stitched an applied binding to the neck instead of just making a hem. I sewed part of a cheapo necklace (that just happened to be metal and heavy and painted teal so that it matched really well) inside the binding around the head hole. Stuffing it with the necklace chain weighted it forward. I used the rest of the chain in the French side seams to weight the sleeves, and in the hem at the front.

The side seams tapered in, from 54″ at my wingspan to about 35″ at my ankles, if you measured it flat. The hem, because of the width of my body inside the kaftan, turned out to be curved which made marking the hem especially challenging. Thank you Mary, Ruth, and Anne for your help and advice.

The earrings and pendant were Mom’s. I don’t know anything about them, but they dangled and the light shone through whatever stone is in them. I felt elegant. Anybody know anything about them?

The under-dress only came to just above my knees, something I thought might look really dumb with a long gown, but it was hardly noticeable. It sure was cooler and more comfortable. You can see knees through the dress in the picture of Steve and me.

All in all, it was a very comfortable garment to wear. When I got tired of tripping over the hem I just hiked it up. It was also easy to get the dress to the wedding. I just rolled the kaftan around a PVC pipe covered with an old cotton blanket. No ironing required.

I mentioned on FaceBook after I finished the dress that I had six yards of the chiffon left over. Inquiring if anyone wanted to have a scarf made out of the leftovers, I got a very positive response.

Trying to please as many people as possible, I cut up the silk into different size scarves. Click here to purchase. (http://www.amisimms.com/silk.html) You get to hem the scarves yourself and save lots of money. Learn how in the tutorial below.  Enjoy!

PS: Because so many of you asked, yes, I did have a shoe issue. While packing the car the night before the wedding, I could only find ONE shoe. This was my “backup” pair, the toe-pinchers I’ve had since 2005 (very low mileage) that might give my feet some relief from the new 3″ heels. I finally found the missing shoe in Scooter‘s kennel. He’s only  stolen one other thing in the year we’ve had him:  a bag of chocolates which he didn’t eat; he just wanted them close. My left shoe didn’t fare as well.

I mended the hole with some stiff black felt, a hot glue gun, and a black marker.

All better. Just don’t look closely.Turns out I didn’t even need to wear them. Once my feet went numb there was no point. (It’s hard being a woman.)

Thanks for reading all the way to the end.

Ami Simms

http://www.AmiSimms.com

91 thoughts on “The Dress (More Than You Ever Wanted To Know)”

  3. A lot of work–lovely dress. I think the percolating made the difference. Giggled at dyeing the underpants–then thought it brilliant!

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  4. Thanks so much for sharing this saga. I saw your first post about dyeing the silk, and then the wedding pictures, and I figured it all was a “piece of cake” for you. Hmmmm. Not so. I’ve only dyed silk ribbon, but the whole process fascinates me.

    Also, my mother died this past February, and it’s a comfort for me to wear her (and my grandmother’s) jewelry. I also have some of her perfume, and the smell of it almost makes me think I’ll see her if I turn around.

    Thanks for sharing your life the way you do. You were my first quilting teacher (I Spy quilts – online), and I’ve always loved your gifted writing.

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  6. Ami, wanted you to know how much I enjoyed both the mother of the bride dress story & video showing how to roll the edge of silk.

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  7. The dress is lovely – though Scooter’s comment about it finally costing almost what it would had you purchased the designer one made my laugh. That always happens to me as well.

    The jewelry set, from what I can see in the pictures, appears to be in the Art Nouveau style, and the center stones might be either frosted glass or moonstone. A very pretty set.

    *Then I do my happy happy dance* I was on your website this morning at 10:00:01 am – so excited to get my scarf. I already have some ideas for beading the ends.

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  8. You did good, Ami- I don’t think I’ll be nearly as ambitious with my dress for my daughter’s wedding next summer!

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  9. Love the creation of the dress, it is wonderful and you and Jennie looked wonderful together. Your earrings may be opal. As a Libra, I am partial to opals – it’s my birthstone. They have that milky white appearance but sparkle with color when hit by the sun.

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    1. I’m going to have to insert a better picture of the earrings and pendant. The one I have is pretty blurry. I don’t think they are opals. Stay tuned.

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  10. Such a wonderful blog post Ami. Loved learning about the dress and although I don’t know if I will ever need to hem silk I loved the video. You taught me so much about hand stitching with your book Invisible Appliqué, it’s still my go to source for problems and I am the only one of my friends who knows the ladder stitch for closing butted together edges! The jewelry was a perfect touch and such a lovely way to have Mom with you on such beautiful day.

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  11. Oh, a few lol’s, but you are so inspirational. I loved the whole story, and now know I will probably never do a rolled hem. You had to do yards and yards of that.!! But it turned out beautifully.

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  12. OHG, Ami! You go, woman!
    Maybe it’s just as well you only have one daughter to marry off – else you might decide that now you’re an Expert you should put yourself through this again…or maybe you’ll take the easy route and make the next caftan out of cotton.
    Congratulations on a splendid Mother of the Bride dress and wonderful wedding!
    All good wishes for Jenny in her new life.
    Hugs,
    Bid

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  14. Looks like I will be one of the (few) lucky ones to get apiece of your very special day. You are an inspiration to women who sew everywhere. Please leave the tutorial how to hem up for a while so I can get the job done. I will make a small prayer for you every time I wrap this around my neck. It will forever be my Ami scarf.

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  15. Just curious and maybe it’s an inappropriate question…..did buying materials for 2 dresses cost you almost as much as the $650 dress?

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  17. Awesome description of all that the dress making involved. You did a fabulous job and I’m sure Jenny was most proud. And you only have to do it once! Love the idea of chain inside the hem for the weight. Very clever. And also Steve’s tie is quite lovely too! Congratulations to you ALL!

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  19. What a beautiful story. You are so fearless in your willingness to get in there and try something of such magnitude. The dying frame is to die (dye?) for. I think that your jewelry is probably moonstone. While they often appear clearish, they are often a milky white.

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  21. Beautiful dress! You are a braver woman than I! After years of quilting, I am getting the urge to sew a simple summer dress, You might have given me the boost of confidence I needed!

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  22. Ami,

    Thanks for sharing your adventure. You’re a better woman than I am! I would not have attempted to make my mother-of-the-bride dress. I would have had nightmares about wardrobe malfunctions!

    Your dress is beautiful! It was worth all the work—I know—easy for me to say! Jennie is a beautiful bride and you are a beautiful mother-of-the-bride. Thanks for letting us “attend” the wedding with you.

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  24. Ami…I was as impressed with your ‘fix’ for your shoes as I was with your dress! I come from a sewing background, and thanks to you, am making my 3rd picture play quilt, being my 5th quilt ever.

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  25. Love how your dress turned out and was happy to be able to purchase a scarf from the gorgeous fabric. I love the feel of chiffon. And thanks for posting the video, I have never done a rolled hem. I thought the gem in the jewelry was perhaps moonstone or opal, or possibly Mother of Pearl. You should take it to a jeweler and have it appraised. They can tell you more about it. Lovely pieces!

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  27. Your dress is lovely and you look beautiful, but after reading all about your adventure, I’m thinking $650 for the designer dress would have been a bargain. I’m just sayin’.

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  28. Love your sense of humor, or the ironic, or both. Your notes are always fun to read. Having had two Goldens, I can appreciate Scooter’s sense of humor as well:)

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  29. I just KNEW there was a story to your lovely dress!! Thanks so much for sharing it. It empowered me to sign up for a local fabric dye/painting class in August. Thanks so much for always being so inspiring and sharing you life with us. I love you to pieces!!

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  30. After reading this, maybe there is a reason that God gave me 3 sons and no daughters! After all, who cares what the Mother of the Groom wears or looks like?

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  32. What a beautiful dress you made and how personal and special to have your Mom’s material and jewelry included. I really enjoy your writing about the process but then I enjoy everything you write about! (Especially about Madison and Scooter!) You made perfect memories of that day that will be remembered all through your family history.

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  34. Hi Ami, I loved reading about your adventures making your dress. I gave up garment making pretty much when I became an honest to goodness quilter, but I was able to “live” every problem with you from your wonderful descriptions. How great that you have made a dress that can become an heirloom if you wish. Aren’t you looking forward to sewing for future grandchildren–little “girly” dresses are lots of fun to make!
    I think those art deco earrings of your mom’s might be an opal stone-milky white with sparkles of color as veins? I think there is little jewelry around these days that has the class and elegance of antique pieces. How lucky you are to have those as remembrances.
    Love reading your blog, and Scooter’s entries as well.

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  35. Ami, thanks so much for sharing your story about the dress. as I knitter/crocheter, I often think the same thing when I see a sweater. I would love to be your neighbor and watch all your interesting projects come to life.

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  38. I would have gave you the $650 !!! Reading your journey made me exhausted and I have had quilts that have caused me such fits of pain and pleasure, In 1983 when my oldest daughter married someone tipped me off to Bridal shoppe’s last years stock, i got my gorgeous gown for $40 – My husband, Ken, that recently passed – his tux rental cost more than that,. And after the wedding I cut the
    dress length into a handkerchief hem and yes I know about rolled hems,,,,it was to be for our cruise on our 50th,,,,,he died rt before that, I was in Montana at quilting in the country with Jane Quinn and home five days and he went in hospital,,,,,,So the dress is in the archives,,,,,,,BUT you looked lovely – so lovely as did your husband and daughter but I still would have given you the 650,,,,ha ,,,,love ya,,,I did a great picture play quilt for my husband’s 60th birthday and retirement – thanks to your encouragement,,,,it is a treasure……I love you Ami – you find the good in the bad – the joy in the sorrow and that reminds me,,,,I am reading “STILL ALICE” – have you read it???
    It reminded me of your Mom and her battle with alzheimers,,,if you have NOT read this book,,….FIND IT……it may help you understand even more – the part that touched me the greatest was the husband’s
    response upon learning of her oncoming illness,,,,,,so reminded me of my Ken’s worry of him outliving me,,,,,well, he didn’t so I am my
    own caregiver as I battle a dreaded disease.,You are an uplifter of my spirit today and you looked gorgeous, I just married off a 24 yr old grandson to a beautiful Erica Marie and she carried a lace embroidered hankie I did for her upon engagement,,,,,its those little things that grams and moms do and hopefully will cherish like you do those beautiful earrings,,,,,,Ode to JOY!!! and loved SCooter’s video,Sent it on to my nephew as he had just lost his blessed retriever,,,,,Stay happy!!!!

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  39. Thanks so much for sharing this with us. You were a topic of conversation at our annual quilt picnic today. One of ou member, Betty Rogers showed us her latest quilt for bidding.

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  40. Ami, You are so creative and the dress was/is beautiful as were you. And just think you could advertise it as a designer dress and get $650.00 from another mother of the bride.

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  42. Your dress is beauitful. I can better understand why the store-bought dress was $650! The jewelry looks like opal to me, but I can’t see it very clearly. I so enjoy your blog, and Scooter! Can’t wait to see some wedding pictures!

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  44. What a journey. Most new adventures, like making this gorgeous dress, entail so much more than we know at the outset. I am glad you and your support crew were able to hang in there. The results are beautiful and the story is hilarious, though if it were me I could see myself crying at times. Your daughter, your husband and you all look like a million bucks. Surely a family story that will live on.

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  45. OMG! Where you last year when I was hemming my Granddaughter’s chiffon wedding dress? What a great tutorial on a rolled hem. I can’t believe how much I struggled with that slippery fabric. Your dress is stunning and you looked lovely, and I really enjoyed your journey.

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  46. Ami, thanks for sharing, that was a beautiful story. I so enjoyed both classes and your presentation in NY. I have to tell you, I’ve entered my company’s fall festival and I’ve made (so far) 10 quilted tree skirts about 45 inches round and wide, lined, quilted. I’ve put off my rose on rose string quilt until after Nov 14 when the festival will take place. Wish me luck on both. I’ve been quilting everything religiously. Phyllis Broadhurst.

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  47. First visit to your site, and I am laughing out loud! My wedding experience involved cutting off the bottom of one bridesmaid’s dress (who had mistakenly tailored hers floor-length), then using the extra fabric to add another tier to the bottom of the very pregnant maid of honor’s dress (which had become very short since the final fitting) with 10 minutes to spare before pictures!! I especially enjoyed your creative outdoor fabric dye process. I needed you years ago when sewing flags and banners for our marching band!

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  48. I am here through your video tutorial How To Sew A Rolled Hem and wanted to thank you for putting that together. I used your technique to sew a rolled hem on a neckline so deep, it is almost cut on the bias. My fabric was linen, so needed to roll each roll. This is the third time making this top and the first time I am satisfied with the neckline. Thank you ever so much! And I very much enjoyed reading about your silk dress journey here!

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  49. Love your dress and story! Thank you for making the rolled hem video. I am going to use it right now on some reversible pants and finally know how to make the sari I ruined (trying to make a kaftan dress not realizing how hard silk is to sew) into a scarf!!! That thing has been sitting around for YEARS, so I’m very happy to finally have a plan for bringing it to life. THANK YOU!

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  50. Also, the photo of you two together is beautiful, and so cool you sewed stuff for your cat. I once made a miniature baseball cap (to keep the sun out of the cat’s eyes and off his face) for my cat. It was seriously adorable but he hated it so off to Goodwill it went. I regret very much not getting a good photo first.

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