Scooter Blogs Again

Mom is a little miffed that I get more hits and more comments on her blog than she does, but she will just have to get over it. So keep ’em coming, OK?

I have much to tell you. Because I am very interesting.

And loving. I love to be with Mom and Debbie who works with Mom. You can see me right in between their two chairs when they are working on something IMPORTANT at the computer. Unfortunately I have since been banished from this position due to enthusiastic wagging when my tail and rear end accidentally came too close to the reset button on Mom’s computer.

I am also fairly clean. I mostly get bathed when Mom cleans the house which is only when company comes, so for the most part I am safe. I may look forlorn in this picture, but I climb in the tub all by myself. I can also climb out, but prefer not to because of the yelling and grabbing that ensures as Mom tries to pull me back in before my paws hit the carpet. I shake BEHIND the curtain.

When company comes it is my job to entertain them because, well, Mom is kind of boring. I prefer fetching. They throw, I fetch. It doesn’t seem to work very well the other way around. Eventually I always tire them out.

I have learned more about the couch recently. My balls roll underneath it. A lot. When I bend over to get them out, my eyes don’t go down low enough to see them, so I stick my front legs under there and try to swim closer. Since I can’t see what I am doing it is very hard to get my toys out.

I have discovered that there is a behind to most things. My behind has a tail. The behind of the couch has a nice hiding place where the balls go. I have learned how to squeeze behind the couch and hide there too. I am very quiet. Even when Mom calls my name. This is a picture of my behind, behind the couch.

Mom went on a trip recently. I helped her pack. I am not fond of her leaving. I sulk and mope by the back door and wait for her to come home. People feel sorry for me. I get hugs. Leaving isn’t good. Coming home is better. I almost lost my tail I wagged it so hard the last time.

I am getting somewhat better at not barking. Mom invented a new training tool. A while back she got a Bark Off device. It makes a not pleasing sound when I bark. Mom put it on the table by the slidey door and now I don’t bark at squirrels through the glass any more. I wait until I get outside, and then I let them have it. Squirrels run fast when you bark at them.

I will digress now. I am a strange dog. I won’t go out and, you know… do my business, unless somebody throws a ball outside for me to chase first. I stand outside looking back inside, holding it in until my people throw something for me to fetch. I don’t know why I do this, but I do. It was really hard in the winter because all my balls got lost in the snow. Mom and Dad were throwing anything they could get their hands on out the door. Good thing we don’t have a cat.

I prefer when somebody comes out with me, you know, for company.There are no pictures for this segment.

Back to the barking. I love the sound of my own bark. I bark at things that move and things that might move. I bark at the neighbors and their dogs through the fence to say hi. I bark because I am a friendly dog. And sometimes I just bark because I go berserk. I bark at other dogs on TV, even cartoon dogs. I run behind the TV to see where they go. I have very good eyesight, but I just can’t find them. Mom started taking the Bark Off outside with me in her pocket. It seemed help, but she is lazy.

Instead of going out with me Mom Velcroed the Bark Off onto a collar and now I wear it around my neck and carry it outside myself. I love wearing it. I lick it and wag when Mom brings it over to put it on before I go outside and now I have mostly stopped barking after the one time I woof just because I can’t help myself. Except when I go berserk. Than nothing stops me: not treats, not noise, not Mom yelling. She just has to drag me away from whatever it was that berserked me. (There are no pictures of this segment either.)

Oh wait, there’s one thing that will make me stop barking when I’m out in the yard and I am having a nutty.

My squeaky toy!

I will stop barking at passing dogs through the fence. I will stop barking at the school bus and the lawn people. I will stop barking at the cat that torments me so. I will stop barking and run right to my people with a happy face. I LOVE my squeaky toy. I don’t even have to have the toy. I just have to hear it. But sometimes I can carry it around very carefully, but then I give it back. (This one is a replacement for my Squeaky Toy because Mom lost my first one. Just had a test drive. Works great!)

I have to go now. I think Mom is going to try to sew my squeaky toy to something. No, wait, she’s going to write her dumb newsletter instead.

Sloppy licks and tail wags,
Scooter

68 thoughts on “Scooter Blogs Again

  1. Oh Scooter, if your Mom ever does a class near me (I;m in Duluth Minnesota) I’ll take it and beg her to let you come too…it’s not far from your house and I’d love to see you even though I am a cat person mostly. But my cat doesn’t have a blog and you do so if you don’t tell her (the cat) I won’t either. Keep on bloggin’

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    1. I can only drive 16 miles without singing, which is what I do before I start barking. Please move closer. Even tho you are a cat I might like you.
      Scooter

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  2. Scooter if your Mom ever comes to LA in the car maybe she can bring you too. My dog Pike doesn’t bark much but he likes company when going out too, maybe you could learn to go out together!

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  3. Keep blogging Scooter! It makes our mom smile that we’re not the only ones who bark at squirrels and people we think might pet us.

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    1. I wrote someting here a minute ago and now it’s gone. I hate computers. I can only be clever one time in a row.

      I think I said that I shake my behind and my front all at once. BOTH behind the curtain. English is dumb. Dog is easier to understand.

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  4. HeyScooter – our couch is in the middle of the room so I can’t hide behind it, but I find if I lay real close to the wall and then roll towards it (with my feet up in the air) it’s really comfy! Tucker

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  5. Dear Scooter-
    I have to wonder about you sometimes, I thought you liked us cats, but now I find out we’re just an excuse to go outside and poop! Oh well… I guess there is a reason that cats rule the world! Oh wait, did I say that, it was supposed to be TOP SECRET. Please don’t tell anyone yet, the plans have not all been laid….Bwahaahaahaahaa!

    Actually, I love you Scooter, you’re the best dog I know!

    Shakespeare, your kitty friend from Texas!

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    1. Shakespeare, we don’t have a cat. if we DID my humans might have chucked it out the door just to keep me from exploding. I admire cats, from a distance. I just want to get closer. Very closer.

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  6. Hey Scooter–Arlo the Spotted One here. I think we could be brothers because I bark at everything too–Except for the fact that I have these lovely brown spots and you don’t. Do me a favor, don’t tell my mom anything more about that bark off thing or where she can find one. I’ve already figured out that if I keep barking, the citronella collar empties really fast so I can keep barking, in between sneezing.

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    1. Spotted one….I have spots too, but they are under my fur. Mom thought they were dirt, but they don’t come off. She tried.

      Don’t tell your people that JoAnn Fabric stores sometimes have them for $9.99, but Mom just saw one at Rite Aid for $6.99. The “As Seen On TV” store in the mall is a big rip off: $12.99. I should go there and bark at them.

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  7. Hey Scooter! Good job finding the secret space behind the couch. I find if I lay down and squint my eyes, I’m inivisible and my Mom can’t see me. I love to bark at everything. Lately Mom has been telling me, ‘leave it’, and if i sit next to her and don’t bark, I get a salmon treat. Much better than barking, but boy, am I ever gaining weight. Mom’s nerves seem to be better, though.

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  8. Hi Scooter,

    What a smart dog you are. You use your Mom’s computer to help us readers smile and laugh at your comments and antics.

    Please keep your blogs and e-mails coming.

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  9. Scooter, you are so good to learn to not bark with your bark off. My puppy Levi had a shocker collar and I always felt bad for him when it went off, he didn’t learn – ever – though. So be good and remember not to bark.

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    1. I will remember. Kind of. Tell Levi I said hi. But tell him not to bark back — i don’t want to get him in trouble.

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  10. Dear Scooter…our cat, Ms Kitty is turning several shades of green over your ability to BLOG: but I think it’s pretty cool. Green clashes terribly with her normal black & white tuxedo look but we don’t tell her that. Please tell your Mom that 2 of your photos didn’t open on our laptop. The trip on a jet plane and the one next to your squeaky toy paragraph. Is it my computer? Til next time, give Ami a wag of the tail for us. Jean

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    1. Tell Miss Kitty that all colors go good with black and white. Then have her sit on your laptop and then the missing pictures will open. She has to hatch them first.

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  11. Hey Scooter! Rufus here. You need to know the bestest thing to bark at! Grass growing!!! It is always doing it and my humans can’t figure out what I am barking at! Drives them crazy! But then they give me treats when I stop barking. I have trained them well.
    BARKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE!!!!!!

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  12. Scooter, you are such a show-off blogging for your mom. We cats know that it just spoils our people if we help them! But I love reading your adventures–keep up the good work–but you know you could shake OUTSIDE the curtain and surprise Mom occasionally.

    Snippet the Evil Cat

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  13. Thanks for posting, Scooter – we DO look forward to hearing your perspective on everything! I can tell your people love you VERY much – especially because they throw things for you to chase, bring you your squeaky toy, and are trying to teach you how to be polite and well-mannered (I just wish our next door neighbor would be so good to the two big dogs that live at their house).

    Post again soon!

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  14. Oh Scooter, your amazing!! What a special dog you are, and so lucky. Seems to me, you need to write a book, and spread the word. My Buddy, would love to chat with you, and tell those puppy tails, and whoas. Have a great day, and get that squeaky toy again : )

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  15. Scooter, let me introduce myself, I am Gigi, a miniature Schnoodle and my sister is Sydney a tiny Chi chi. If you ever get to Florida, please look us up as we love to bark too and we could have a really good time together.

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    1. I have other dog friends in Florida: Missy and Brighton and some others who I forget. I’m not good enough in the car to get to Florida. Neither is mom. We will have to practice.

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  16. Scooter,
    Spencer the newf here. I stay under the end table at the end of the couch during storms but for the most part I like the black floor in front of the fireplace because it is nice and cold. Mom says it’s slate.
    I don’t fetch very often but once in a while, I act like a “goofy newfy” and chase my bone if it is thrown. I only do it 3 times and then I have to take a nap to rest up after all the excitement.
    I am under mom’s chair today because she stays and works from home 2 days a week. I am very good at guarding her if she doesn’t move. If I have to follow her then sometimes I stay where I am and sleep and let her take care of herself!
    We are going to the dump during lunch time. I love the dump. It smells great! We are dropping stuff off not picking stuff up.

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    1. Can I come to the dump too? Please? I think I would like it a lot. I don’t want to make a deposit. I want to make a pick-up and keep forever and ever.

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  17. Scooter, I am not sure if I can type as I am laughing so hard at all your adventures. Tell Mom to put them all in a book with the bestest comments to your blog. She can donate all the millions of dollars she’ll earn to Alzheimer’s Research and we won’t have to worry about us, or anyone else, getting this nasty disease. I know i would buy the book and give each of my friends a copy.
    Ellen

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  18. Scooter, I just love your blogs. Keep on writing. I must say you are *very* lucky to have such a wonderful mother…she is not only a creative quilter, but also a creative “how to stop dog from barking” person.

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  19. Scooter, you are one spoiled dog. We are working on attaining perfection at home here but our parents don’t keep an eye on the clock and sometimes we have to wait awhile for our walks. We get four a day how about you? If Mom is sewing she never seems to look at the clock and sometimes we have to be really rude and interrupt her. Thanks for the tips.

    Barks and sniffs from Kyra and Maggie

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  20. Scooter – I am Maizy and I am a 2 1/2 year old golden (probably) from the Humane Society. My owner quilts too, but I don’t much care for the machine. You are lucky to have a yard. I live in a condo and almost always have to be on a leash when I am out. Retrieving is my favorite game too. I love my ball so much I don’t like to give it back. I’m not a barker, but I am finally getting better at not jumping when people come to see me – me! It’s always about me! If I can’t play, then I love to ride in my blue truck-anytime, any where. Don’t you just LOVE your people. I get to stay underfoot because my owner “he” has a laptop. Keep writing!

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    1. I love trucks too and cars. I used to jump in other people’s cars ALL THE TIME! Really freaks them out. Great way to make friends. I used to bark at opening car doors….I had forgotten about that. I used to get in Mom’s car and not get out. That was fun too. Ha, ha, Mom!

      Scooter

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  21. Scooter, you make my day. You are a very good writer for a dog, perhaps the only one I am acquainted with.Your life is pretty great, your family looks after you very well. Doggy kisses and hugs from Sam, a border collie in Victoria

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    1. Hi Sam! Yes I am very lucky. Mom might take me walking around the mall today. Yesterday I made it all the way around for the first time without having to turn around and go the other way for speeding violations. I still bump into Mom as I would rather walk between her legs than on the side of one of them.
      Scooter

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  22. Hey, Scooter. Gus the yellow lab here. I don’t bark alot, but I really like to bark at things that don’t belong. Like the lawn sweeper when the wind blew it across the lawn and that terrible black bag that was waving on the other side of the fence. I also chase all other animals off our property. Ever since that other dog was wandering around my field, I have to bark at the opening in the fence that he ran through. EVERY TIME we walk out there. I don’t run through like he did though. I have to stay on my side even if the fence is gone there.

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  23. Scooter–I completely understand the going out to–you know, because we had a small black “schnoodle” (named Galahad) who would sit on the front porch for hours looking back into the house waiting–and waiting–for someone to come out and walk him! So, actually, you are a very good dog to at least chase that ball.

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  24. Scooter, if you make the big brown sad eyes, then you can get a whole collection of squeaky toys! Then you can make what Dad calls “carnage” around the top of the stairs for when he gets home from work. The really fun game comes at bedtime though. I’ve noticed that if I leave lots and lots of the toys out there in the hallway, Dad can pick up ALL the toys at once, instead of just the one that fits in my little mouth. Then he is trained very well to put them all back in the little toy bin that is next to my bed! Isn’t that great? I don’t really bark (except at Mom’s stepfather – he is a ‘big scary guy’ according to my aunt, so I have to protect Mom from him), so I don’t have to wear a necklace like your’s, but I’m the same as you with cats (and rabbits and anything else that looks like it might be prey). I’m a small, shy Dalmatian, so I don’t look like I’d be that ferocious. Gets them every time… Now that the weather has warmed up enough that I don’t wear my coat, Mom is making me wear a backpack! She thinks we’ll be going hiking eventually, but there are BEARS in those woods! And not cute little squeaky ones either!

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