Last Day For the “Two-For-One” Sale

I went a little nuts with a special offer in my newsletter on Saturday. In case you aren’t signed up to get my newsletter, it went something like this. Well, it actually went EXACTLY like this, except without the pictures. And the  few extra thoughts I just added this morning…

How NOT to Make a Prize-Winning Quilt by Ami Simms


I bet that 25% of people who buy How NOT To Make A Prize-Winning Quiltbuy it again a second time. That’s truly an odd statistic, but that’s what people tell me. Lots of people. They originally buy the book for themselves, give it to a friend to read, and never get it back! Of all the quilting books I’ve ever heard of my little acid green tome is the one most often read aloud on bus trips to Paducah. I’m just telling you what an honor that is—both the buying the book two times and the public readings.

How NOT To Make A Prize-Winning Quilt is the only book I’ve written that I periodically re-read. I’m pretty much done with the others as soon as they’re published. I already know “how to” whatever the books were about and I don’t need to read them again. But I do read the little funny book, because it still makes me laugh. I probably shouldn’t admit that, but it’s true. I have even giggled out loud. Pathetic.

My favorite chapter? I think it’s a tie between “If It Doesn’t Fit, Pull On It Or Cut It Off” and “Only Sissies Machine Quilt.”

My favorite photo? The one showing the label from one of the twin size sheets I used for backing that got sandwiched in and quilted. By hand no less. I never noticed it was in there until I started photographing this quilt for the book.  Hey, at least I picked out the hem and the piping!

Since everybody needs a laugh or two, I’ve cooked up a special deal, but you need to act quickly. Until midnight on Monday (August 3rd—that would be TONIGHT!) get TWO copies of How NOT To Make A Prize-Winning Quilt for the price of one. (Notice the built-in “loaner” book you can actually GIVE away from the start?)

I’ll autograph books this time and I’ll inscribe them, too. First names only, please. If you want it dated you have to say so in the comment section because I normally don’t do that. To be very specific about the dating, if the book is inscribed (“For Susie”) and you want it dated you get the day, the month, and the year. If the book is not inscribed and you just want it autographed (that would be just my name) and you want it dated, then you get just the year. Unless you tell me otherwise. (Madison, reading over my shoulder, asked if that meant I go “all the way” on the first date. Everybody’s a comedian.)

Sinking Sailboat by Ami SimmsAND, I’ll give you a free pattern. I’ll email you the pattern for my Sinking Sailboat quilt. You have my permission to print it off so that you and your friend can each make my funniest quilt ever.

But wait, there’s more! (I love saying that.) There’s a little gift I mention in the back of How NOT To Make A Prize-Winning Quilt that you can send away for, except that you have to send in a self-addressed stamped envelope. If you’re one of the first 100 people who order, I’m going to save you the trouble, and the $.44 in postage each way. You AND the recipient of the “extra” book each get the little gift with the book. (You just can’t send away for a second one because there probably won’t be any more!)

Deal? Stop reading  now and go here to ORDER so you don’t miss out! And tell all your friends.

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One thought on “Last Day For the “Two-For-One” Sale

  1. I’ll just bet that I might be the very first one to ever use your book, actually just part of the preface, for a sermon! And it was very well received, thank you very much.
    This morning I was the worship leader for Calico Gals Summer Sewing Spa, the shop where I work – for the discount, and teach – for fun. As their “pastor in residence” (I really am an ordained United Methodist Deacon – re-treaded, as opposed to re-tired) I’m usually the one who leads the Sunday Morning Worship service at the shop’s quilting retreats. As pre-coffee-ed folks of all flavors, lifestyles and what have you come to the 7:30 AM service, I make the service both inclusive and interactive. I’ve done this service four or five times so folks come anticipating some thing novel as well as meaningful.
    Due to the prompt response of your “order department”, (Mallory’s owner perhaps?) my two books arrived early last week and were just as promptly enjoyed. My brain for once really worked as it should and as I laughed through the Preface, Ecclesiastes 3:1-13 (especially as it is interpreted in the Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language) kept threading its way through my thoughts. No matter how bazzar they seem, when I have a sermon to write, I’ve learned to pay attention to those loose threads. They can provide me with some wonderful fabric.
    The section of the Preface that I shared begins on page 7, starting with the sentence “I got into quilting by accident.” and continuing through to the end. I then had folks turn to a neighbor and discuss the questions*. Folks then had to opportunity to share what their partner had shared with them for the entire group.
    There were many positive comments about the service and lots of conversation too, about things learned from experiences that were, in the beginning, not so perfect.
    This is all to say, a huge thank you for writting the book and sending it out so promptly. And yes, I did indeed wear my tie-dyed underpants, even though they showed through my white pants!
    *I will try to attach a copy of the service or send it via a new email to Mallory Press.
    Having a great time, as usual, Rev. Kathleen B. Barden


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