Long Legs No Help

Tall Table
Debbie and Ami eat at the TALL table at Subway.

I have always been tall.  Aside from looking over people’s heads in a crowd and getting things off the top shelf, it hasn’t been all that amusing. I can see the dirt on the top of the fridge, I have to buy TALL clothes or my ankles and wrists stick out, and it’s a long way down to tie my shoes. When I lean alluringly against a door jam I look much like an ironing board propped up in the same position.

By now I’ve become used to me, but there are times when I’d prefer to be petitte.  I’d trade the ability to heave 40 pounds of luggage into the overhead bin for a few extra inches of legroom, for example. Other then that, I’m pretty happy being tall.

Still, every once in a while I want to feel petite. So I pick the tall table at the fast food joint. It makes me feel short because I have to climb up onto the chair and my feet don’t touch the floor. I can swing them if I want and not touch anything at all.

The problem is I can’t reach my food. In order to get up into the chair I have to drag it away from the table.  Once in the chair with no hope of using the floor for leverage, I can’t scoot myself in.  How is that supposed to be done?

One remedy is to pull the table closer to me, which seriously inconveniences my fellow diners who now sit on the other side of a great abyss. They get cranky.

I have also tried rocking my chair back and forth in an attempt to “walk” the chair legs closer to the table. Getting just the right tilt to the chair without falling over is harder than you might think.

I have attempted to jump the chair over, maneuvering it as if it were a pogo-stick. Each hand firmly under the seat of the chair, it’s kind of a bouncing / lurching movement.

The thing that seems to work most efficiently is to ask my companions push in my chair for me, but then how do they seat themselves?  I’d have to give up my properly positioned chair to help them. Then they’d have to help me again. It would be a vicious circle.

Seriously, how are you supposed to use these chairs! Does the wait staff tuck you in to the table? Are you supposed to plant your feet under the table and then pull the chair seat toward the small of your back and shimmy up backwards? Maybe there is a small crane by each table that I have never noticed that just lowers your and your rear onto the seat. Are they only for extremely tall people that can sit AND reach the floor?

I’m serious. I need more information.

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54 thoughts on “Long Legs No Help

  1. I position the chair close enough to eat and then kind of squeeze in from the side of the chair. Sometimes this actually gets you too close and you still have to do the pogo stick jump, back a bit.
    Fortunately my legs aren’t unseasonably long, so I only sit at those tall tables if all the tables for average length people have been taken. :)

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  2. I feel your pain…… for different reasons. I have short legs and arms and have one heck of a time getting my sitter hauled up on those tall chairs. Once I’m up there….. I’m there to stay. :o)

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  3. I am short but this is my solution. I turn the chair sideways, get in the chair then turn toward the table. Yes, I have no back, only a side but how long are we going to stay there anyway!? Reminds me of my favorite Ogden Nash poem..”As I was sitting in my chair, I knew the bottom wasn’t there, nor side nor back, but I just sat, ignoring little things like that.”

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  4. p.s. of course I thought of this after I sent that last comment… :)
    But, MY problem at those tall tables is what do you do with your purse? The chairs hardly ever have the kinda backs where there’s a piece sticking up/off the sides you can hang it on, and you can’t put it next to you on the booth, cuz there isn’t one… you don’t want to throw it on the floor… do you just hold it in your lap? I usually don’t want it on my lap cuz then it’s harder to get to the food,… so will end up balancing it between my feet (I like the tall tables that have that center ring/foot rest thing), or hanging it over my knee, where it does tend to want to slide off. ARGH!!!
    An uncomfortable situation.

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  5. I’m lauging through my tears! I love your Through the Eyes of a Quilter blogs. Okay, think about it Ami. Here is a riddle . . . how do you make a 9″ block bigger than it really is without adding fabric? You turn it on point! I do the same thing with these tall chairs. I turn it on point, so the seat is “pointed” at the table base and the chair back is off to one side. Once it is close enough, I “slide” in. Think about it, more area for the bottom when the “block” (i.e. chair seat) is on point. Try it out and let me know if it works for you.

    Allison C. Bayer( fellow tall chair commiserator)

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  6. Well, Ami, from the perspecitive of a petite person 5’2″ and probably shrinking, these tables present the same issues for us. The only solution I have found, and it isn’t a pretty one, is to put the chair where it needs to be to reach the food and then climb, slither, bend yourself into an S shape to get into the chair. You will get some very funny looks from other diners but what the hell, as I tell my boys when they tell me I’m weird–“Better weird than boring.” And by the way, not being able to see the dirt on the top of the frig is a real plus but not being able to reach the pasta bowl sitting up there without a stool is definitely not a plus. Being able to heave a huge suitcase into the over head is only in my dreams. But even when the ape in front of me puts his/her seat all the way back I still have enough room to breathe. My husband is 6’5″ and my best friend of 42 years is 5’10”. Both of my sons tower over me and call me “The Midget.” Enjoy your tallness, you might as well! Itell my boys that even though they are bigger than me I will always be meaner and sneakier!
    hugs,
    deb

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  7. I NEVER sit at the tall table because at 5’2″ my feet dangle in mid-air! In fact, my feet dangle at the regular tables! My motto is: Never Grow Up!

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  8. The cafeteria at one of my old jobs had a long tall table that sat 16 (eight on each side). It was in a great location, so my lunch group sat there every day. Imagine the silliness of a whole row of business people trying to bounce their tall chairs into the table at the same time!

    After doing this daily, some of us became quite good at maneuvering the chairs. (My secret method was to rock the chair to one side while swinging the other side forward. This in effect walked the chair to the table in 3 moves.) Others asked for help pushing their chair in, some ate with their chairs far away from the table. Some people wouldn’t eat with us at all because of the tall chairs. But we all agreed that it should be an Office Olympics event!

    But height is good. I always wanted to be taller than my 5’7″!

    Judy Walter

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  9. I am also tall and love the tall tables. I have discovered that one has to slide in from the side. Use the back of the chair and the table for leverage. A small running start and little jump doesn’t hurt. Be careful, though, because you may tip the table and dump your food and your friend’s food and have to start all over.

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  10. Ami – Put one but cheek on the chair, which leaves one foot on the floor. Use this foot to pull your chair up to the table. Or, instead of pulling the chair straight out, rotate the chair so that there is a part of the chair that is close to the table, slip one butt cheek on the chair, ADJUST. The last suggestion only works if you are on the slender side. Good luck and have a good lunch!

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  11. Ami, try hooking your feet around the legs of the chair across from you and pulling yourself forward. Of course that will only work if someone is sitting in that chair to provide some counter weight! Just a thought…….

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  12. Welcome to the world of us “squaty-bodies”, Ami. The dilemma you describe is one I encounter every time I sit on a tall chair, only I do it so I can feel tall!
    What I usually do is position the chair where I want to sit, then squeeze myself in as gracefully as possible. I’m sure I fail miserably on the graceful aspect, but if it’s good for a chuckle from those who may be watching, then I’ve succeeded in both seating myself and a lightening the mood in the room.
    Maybe I could send you all the cuff and pant hems I have left over and you can add them where needed. :)
    Thanks for all the laughs you give me.
    Paula in OKC.

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  13. I’m 5’3″ – short. I guess I’ve never considered this a problem since it’s a normal part of life to me! Just sit down sideways like you didn’t really intend to face the table and then turn your situpon towards the table – and voila! Chair is in, you’re where you should be, and your friends dining with you can still reach their food.

    I have to admit that not being able to see the dust on the top of the refrigerator prevents a lot of unnecessary cleaning.

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  14. Well Ami, at least being tall makes it somewhat easier to get seated on those tall chairs. Those of us that are short really have a disadvantage. We just have to run and turn or bodies as we jump up to the seat.Not really easy as the chair doesn’t seem to want to stay in place when hit with a moving person weighing more that the chair. Makes you wonder the purpose of those darn tall chairs. Probably a man thing. They’re better left to the dark barrooms where no one can see how one gets his/her posterior up onto the seat.

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  15. I too have always wanted to be petite. Not only would I trade the overhead locker space for more leg room but would also be happy with being helped to stow luggage there. Just because I’m tall does not make me Hercules. Plus I would love to be able to get out of a telling off at work or a yukky task by turning on the waterworks. If I do it I get told to pull myself together, my colleagues, however, are cuddled and there, there’d.

    BUT I can reach to the other side of quilt when necessary and I can see over a crowd….

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  16. I’m 6′ myself, and can appreciate your thoughts. One more good thing about being tall is that I can usually go about a week or so longer before touching up my gray roots, since not too many people are tall enough to see them….unless I’m sitting down, and then I just deal with it.
    P.S. My 20-year old daughter is 6’2″ and keeps asking me “wasn’t I supposed to stop growing years ago?” She deals with it well, but of course wishes there were more tall guys for her to choose from. I told her it was better to learn to love the shorter ones, cuz it seems all the tall ones usually go for the short cheerleader types! Or at least that was my experience.

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  17. I have the same problem in my daughter-in-law’s kitchen. Thought it was just me being old – because I thought for a tall person it should be a no-brainer. Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone.

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  18. I just sneaked a peak at the emails today and find that at 4’10” – and shrunken to 4’8″ – I have avoided some of the perils of “excessive height”! Thank goodness there is room in the world for both of us. Luv.

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  19. Ami, I’m height challenged (5’2″) and have had to deal with scooting in chairs without touching the floor forever. Here’s how I do it:
    1. Stand beside the chair.
    2. Scoot the chair to the position you think you’ll need it to assume.
    3. Sit down *sideways* in the chair, sort of scootching your body around while leaving your legs at the side.
    4. Swing your legs to the front — do this carefully to avoid purple knees, caused by hitting them against the table.
    5. Enjoy your meal!

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  20. Uh huh, and I have a 30 inch inseam…tall tables are big trouble for me as well… I can’t ever reach the table even if I try to slither up into the chair as close to the table as I can get it. And when and if I get seated in that long legged chair, my feet swing in the air…not a good thing for your leg veins really. I think these are designed to get people to eat and get out of the store as fast as humanly possible. I say, a pox on those things. Get rid of them all….

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  21. No solution, because as a height-challenged person this is something I have to deal with on a daily basis. MOST of the time when I sit in a chair my feet don’t touch the ground. Step-stools clutter my home. You just have to learn to gracefully jump, leap and climb into position. And also learn to be comfortable with dangling feet or sitting in the low-rider slouch.

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  22. Being not tall I have a problem most of the tinme. Usually I find that if I push the chair up close to the table before I sit down, I can slip into it and be close enough. That works for me most of the time. Good luck

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  23. I always wanted to be petite, and after losing 2″ I am, most of the ” are in what they call a Widow’s hump. I always thought petite meant small.
    Those High Chairs are good for older people with problems lifting themselves out of chairs, they can just walk away.
    Maybe if you tip the Maitre D he’ll push your chair in and pick up your napkin.

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  24. One solution is to hark back to the Victorian era. With the tall stool placed at a slight angle to the table, there’s room to scoot up onto the seat, sidesaddle, as it were. Then you have the choice of turning your torso square to the table, sitting at an angle on the seat so your whole body is square to the table, or sitting square in the seat but at an angle to your food. This last option if positioned correctly gives you a good people watching perch (just not your dining companions..) Which option you pick depends to a large extent on how comfortable the chairs are.

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  25. How about starting a petition to require businesses to provide swivel seats for tall tables OR outlaw the manufacture of the chairs without a swivel seat. If you are agile enough, you could just turn the chair with the back against the table and “climb into the saddle” You would then have a place to rest your arms.

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  26. Hey – sure beats being 5’2″ and not even being comfortable in a regular chair. If I sit back, my feet don’t touch the chair. My husband and boys are always offering me a booster seat…

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  27. Oh, my! I feel your pain! My legs hit my desk at work…they measured one day while I was on vacation…now I have runs in my hose, and bruised knees. I order my pants and jeans from a catalog that has longer than 29″ inseams.
    My husband is taller than I am, and so are our boys. Thank Heavens we had boys! It’s not so much a problem for guys to be tall.
    Thankfully, my quilting doesn’t care how tall I am. Or my cross stitching or rug hooking or any other needlework I do.
    My mother always told me to be glad I am tall…I’ll never have to worry about seeing things over the crowd. After 52 years, I’m getting better with it!

    Have a good day!

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  28. See, this is why I NEVER sit at those tables. My being only 5′ tall (short) makes it impossible to sit at those tables and it further increases the harsh reminder that I am NOT tall which is something I really don’t like to be reminded of. Since I always have to cut off the bottoms of my pants and shirt sleeves, maybe I could send them to you and you could sew them on to your pants and sleeves! Who invented those tables is right – maybe it was someone who had two casts on their legs and really couldn’t bend so they just back up and kinda hang one cheek on the edge of the chair nonchalontly. Or maybe it was someone who was stuck in the 70s whose jeans had been applied with a putty knife who couldn’t bend. This is an important question. We need to know the truth!

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  29. I have a less lofty point of view so I can’t help. I need mountaineering gear to get up there.
    On the other hand, I can swing my legs on the main seating provided in a bathroom, like a kid, but people still expect me to behave like a grown up. I even oblige sometimes!

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  30. If you’d sit at the bar, in the tall chair, you could pull yourself closer with more ease, since the bar is fastened to the wall. My problem with this arrangement is having to talk sideways to everyone, but it can be a viable alternative. Just keep in mind that those of us who are short have this problem with EVERY chair we sit in. You spread your legs as far apart as you can, reach between them to pull the chair in as close as it goes. Then sit down quick before you fall over. It’s tough all over.

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  31. You’re a tall, lovely woman and your height is matched with the wonderful strength of character and bigness of heart that you have learned to carry…..not to mention becoming the strong voice of those who have no voice or forget what they need to say!

    And if you can’t see how well it serves you, trust me…at 5’2″, I can! No matter my age, wisdom and breath of life experiences…..in the presence of Amazons,I still end up as the Lilliputian!

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  32. I am 5’10” and find that if I leave the chair under the table, scoot in onto the side of the high chair, then turn around (as if it was a swivel chair) and Viola! I’m at the table, don’t have to reach a mile to get to the food, and I haven’t made other diners look as I pogo stick my way up to the table.

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  33. The man in this house suggested asking the manager to hire a “chair man” (get it?) to keep thier customers comfortable …
    I prefer Quizno’s myself…….

    I have the other problem…….being 4′ 10″ I need a ladder to get onto one of those! : = )

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  34. Ami – I can see that you haven’t gotten much help on this one, and I’m sorry to say that I won’t be able to give you any either.

    <>

    HA! Welcome to MY life…

    Deb, who is 4’11”

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  35. When you figure that one out will you please tell me why hot dogs come in packages of 10 and buns come in packages of eight?
    Nancy O’

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  36. I thought I was the only one who felt awkward at those tall tables! Sorry, I have no solutions for you – I’m just glad to know that it’s not just me. Oh, and I can relate with you on being tall. On the whole, I’d rather be tall, but there are some inconveniences. Don’t even get me started on the trauma of shoe shopping.

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  37. I am a short person. I have had the problem opposite of yours for 60 years and always envied those of a loftier height. If those chairs are a problem for you then just imagine being 5’3 and not exactly slender! Why do they want to alienate most of their clientel? Unless it’s part of Subways effort to get people to excercise by all the movement necessary to even get into the chairs! Getting them in position to be able to enjoy your lowfat sub is another exercise (in futility) altogether.

    Thanks for your perspective, Ami, I never thought of tall people having problems.

    Rae Linda in Illinois

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  38. AMEN. I hate the tall chairs. I’m 5-8 and they don’t work for me at all. Let’s let the fast food joints and others know we don’t like them.

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  39. I had the same situation at lunch today and thought of you. Shift your weight to the left and scoot the right side of the chair in, change hips and repeat. It works!

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  40. Dear Ami,

    From one of the terminally short:

    The trick is to put one of your feet under the table. Position your fanny approximately where you want it to be when you are sitting. Hold on to the table and use your other foot to quickly hook onto the rung of the chair and scoot it up behind ypu until you can plop down on it.
    When you get really good at it, you don’t have to hold the table. Sounds more complicated than it is.
    I’ve been doing it ever since I was tall enough to sit at the “big table”
    Hugs,
    Lori

    Brilliant! ~~Ami

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  41. I’ve always wondered about those dumb high chairs for grownups. My cousin and his wife have them in their enclosed porch/sunroom. They look real pretty until you need to sit on one. (especially in a s-k-i-r-t). BTW, I need “talls” too. I recently found that Woolrich makes pants that are TOO LONG FOR ME! And I refuse to shorten them, though my dh says I need to…I tell him I’ve spent 65 years wearing either “floods” or basic black, brown, navy or burgundy pants. And I’m just so happy my pants are long enough to be “too long”, it gives me shivers. Okay, so maybe I need a life! lol

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  42. Personally I position the chair stragegically (about the right distance from the table, angled a bit to one side) and then squirm onto it sideways, as it were. To face the table properly I have to sit partly across the seat rather than straight on. Of course, I never get the distance exactly right and usually end up dropping food in my lap on the long distance from plate to mouth….
    I’m short so for me, the thrill of dangling my legs happens too often anyway!

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  43. LOL I am petite, and just climbing on to one of those chairs is difficult. But I like them because they make me feel tall. I position the chair as close to the table where I still have room to sit. Then I climb on to the chair sideways, and swing my legs towards the table. I considered using another chair to help me, but I try not to do that when other people are watching.

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  44. I’m in the short category and can only sit on those chaires if there is a cross bar near the bottom. Then I position myself between the chair and table, hook a foot into the cross-bar with the other toes on the floor, pull the chair as close as I can while scooting my backside onto the stool. Then I put the napkin into my collar ’cause I know my lap will end up covered if I don’t! Normally … I just avoid them!

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  45. I have only tried to sit on one of those ‘bistro’ chairs once. I am 5’2″ tall, and my legs are short enough to dangle from REGULAR chairs! Many restaurants are installing more and more bistro/bar seating, to my dismay. Now that I hear that tall people are ALSO inconvenienced, I say we begin a grass-roots campaign to do away with the bistro seat! SLK

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  46. Ami dear… I smell a new invention coming your way. As I take my 5′ 6″ butt to my drawing table to “figger” it out.

    Results will arrive (eventually) by snail mail. Be SURE to read it sitting on a bar stool (so named because the TALL men in Bars needed to feel superior?)

    Oy.
    Love,
    Jean

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  47. At 5’8″ I always felt tall till my first granddaughter grew up..and up till now she’s 5’11”, now I don’t feel so tall anymore. But I stopped trying to use those TALL chairs, especially since I got my NEW knee. It can’t handle all the gyrations needed to get up in them. thanks for your great newletter and blogs to brighten my day!
    Joyce

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  48. I hate the “tall tables!” I can’t believe they are the “in” thing being advertised for regular-peoples’ homes, too! What is the attraction? They make a small dining room or kitchen eating space look smaller, they are hard to get into & use, you might as well STAND at the table as sit. They are too high to use as a cutting table in your sewing room….what’s the attraction?

    Although maybe in five or six years when people get tired of them, we can pick up some cheap and cut off the bottom foot or so of the legs to make either good cutting tables or a normal-height dining table! Because you know the folks who were suckered into buying them wouldn’t think of the fact that the legs can be cut shorter!

    Pam

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  49. After I manage to kinda get in the chair, I feel like I am going to slide off the front. I really hate them. The last time I had to sit at a tall table because the restaurant was packed and this was the only choice. It is one of my favorite places to eat and I hardly remember how the food takes, cause I kept trying not to fall off!

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