Literally. I got new glasses. Well, same frames, different lenses. While I wasn’t looking, my prescription changed by “two clicks,” presumably in the wrong direction.
As of 20 minutes ago, my lenses are corrected. I look the same, but I see much differently.
Everything is much larger. And closer. And brighter. And I have become short. I look down at the pavement and it is measurably closer to me. It appears to be the same distance as it would have been with my old lenses as if I were on my knees! I used to be 5′ 8″ and now I feel closer to 4′ 8″. I’m very short, compact. I feel it in my gut. My center of gravity is lower now. Maybe this will help with my coordination as I walk and chew gum for instance. Previously, with the ground so far away, I had a great distance to fall. Now, not so much. My gait, once tentative, may become more fluid, graceful even. I’m excited. Maybe I won’t trip so much.
My hands, fingers, and keyboard have shrunk however. I am worried about this. Will my #10 between have shrunk also? Wait! Maybe my stitches have gotten smaller too? Cool! Until I try to make more. Did they put one lens in upside-down? I think my hands should have gotten larger too. I want my 200 threadcount cotton quilting fabric to look like burlap.
Hold on. My face looks older. Since when did I get so wrinkly?! This is so not fair. I didn’t sign up for this. And what’s with the dirt on the mirrror?! That wasn’t there this morning.
Change. Just when you get used to something it changes. Change is really the only thing that’s constant. What irony! Speaking of irony, I’m going to plug in the Rowenta and have at it.
Through The Eyes Of A Quilter 
Good girl! Look at that luscious pile of fabric. Start creating! Enjoy! Have at it!!!
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Ami, you are SUCH a stitch!
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Felt the same way last November when mine were changed . . . I didn’t sign up for the older, more likely to trip, and/or more wrinkly gigs either but I seem to be a team leader these days.
Lovely colors to iron…
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I felt the same way when they corrected my astigmatism. The ground slopes away from me, causing me multiple ‘curb dismount’ injuries. Going down a set of stairs causes great disturbance as well. Best hint I was given was to take off my glasses when stepping down, or looking out beneath them.
My parents didn’t name me Grace for a reason. ;)
Shari
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reminds me of when I got the dreaded “bifocals”!! Curbs were now 3 feet high, face and hands aged instantly. My kids were rolling on the floor as I tried to climb stairs that were so steep, it required that my knee become almost part of my chin.
Cheer up Ami, it’s only going to get better!! Yeah right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Sheesh…. I’m waiting fir my 1st “progressives” to come in and this is AFTER lasix a few years ago. I can still see far, thanks to the surgery, but I can’t read or use the computer without my drugstore glasses. What happened???
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HARHAR! I know EXACTLY what you mean. I’ll never forget getting glasses at age 7. When I looked down on leaving the optometrist’s office, the curb seemed SOOOO far away! I hadn’t even seen it before. The most wondrous part was being able to see the ice cream menu painted on the side of the local Dairy King! (I guess he hadn’t married the Queen yet…) Enjoy your new-found sight!
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Ami – I love your outlook on life and your sense of humor. You have made my day (and it happens to be both my birthday as well as my husband’s). Don’t stop what you’re doing. You bring a lot of smiles :-)
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i have been enjoying your writing for awhile now so i decided it was time to let you know. madison’s pieces always crack me up. thank you for taking the time to write and share things that most of us also experience. life is constantly changing whether we want it to or not. (i seem to notice it more now that i am older.)
i am sorry about your mom. thanks for sharing that part of your life too.
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I always enjoy reading your insights- you are a very entertaining writer and talented lady.
Thanks for the updates. Oh, don’t forget to let your pooch at the keyboard again soon too. He takes after his mom!
Nancy O.
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I’ve just gone through that transition too, but fortunately, I’m still the same height! My DH can’t say the same thing though – he has managed to shrink a full 2″! He was 6′ tall, but one day when I went to kiss him, I realized that I didn’t have to reach up as much – sure enough, when I measured his height again, he was only 5’10″…..
He drives a tractor over some pretty bouncy terrain, and he thinks he may have compressed some disks in his back. If only there was some way to stretch them out – I’d love to add a few inches to my 5’3″!
P.S. Did you get the optometrist to add a bit of pink colouring to your lenses? I love looking at the world through rose-coloured glasses!
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It’s so good to begin to see the old funny Ami back. Your sense of humor is so much fun. Your lense description it priceless. I’ve felt much the same way. Love your blog.
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Thanks for the chuckle this morning! I totally understand, because I’ve been wearing glasses/contacts since I was in 5th grade, and I remember the feeling of changing prescriptions in my glasses. I wear contacts most of the time now, and it’s still hard for me to walk normal in my glasses because of the difference!
Have a great day!
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Bless your heart, Ami! Those very same things have been happening to me, too! I’m glad I’m not alone on this particular journey.
debi
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Oh Ami, I feel your pain. Imagine my surprise when my usual 5’2″ shrunk with the onset of–oh dear, can I even say it? Not bifocals but TRIFOCALS! Please be careful going down stairs. Your feet will think the steps are in a different place from where they actually are. And wonder of wonders, as if it could get more pronounced, I look more like my mother now. I sometimes walk by a plate glass window and think, “wow, I didn’t know mother was here.” Of course now that she’s gone to that big quilting shop in the sky it’s even more strange, but somehow comforting too! I carry her with me where ever I go.
hugs,
deb sims
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Lucky you!!!! I have to wear tri-focals to keep things in perspective. “They” say when you have cataract surgery your distance vision is “perfect” again. I wonder if I’d only need bi-focals then? I just got a passport/I.D. photo–it shows my wrinkles and the circles around my eyes–let’s start a new fad.
Wrinkles are wonderful.
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Hi Ami!
Welcome to my world….hee! Hee!
By that I mean…I once was 4’10 1/2″…and I made sure I added the half inch! Now, well I insist of having my height measured BEFORE I get out of bed…to take advantage of the lack of gravity effect. And it’s true, with the ground so much closer, falling doesn’t take as long. Plus, if I spot dropped coins I can get to them faster! (And yes, I do pick up pennies!)
The walking…well, taller folks tend to glide and me, well compared to them I waddle! HA!
(I once worked with a boss who is a good 6′ + and had the good fortune of walking back to the office in his company after a meeting. He walked, I jogged. Try keeping up a conversation!
Enjoy the new lenses……..and I do not see any wrinkles…other than on your fabric.. looks like great batiks…..
Mona
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c’n I bring my irony pile to your house?????
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Ami: I love you! And I want your pile of ironing too! The fabrics are beautiful!
I started wearing glasses in 2nd grade. It was amazing! My grades went up because I could finally see what the teacher was writing on the Chalkboard. Each prescription change was a challenge.
I have a kicker for you though, I was growing wo quickly that eye doctor told my parents I had to come in every 6 months ‘cuz my eyesight was going so quickly. He mentioned the “B” word with me as a 3rd grader in the room, and recommended bifocals. I was sooooooooooooo scared that I started to try to teach myself Braille while I still had the benefit of some sight. The only thing the bifocals did was give me something to play with when riding in the car at night – the dividing line between the lenses created the most beautiful rainbow.
We moved and the new eye doctor was appalled at anyone giving a 3rd grader bifocals, and talking so foolish in front of a child.
Thankfully, he was wrong and unfortunately I am back in bifocals – but not until I was 43. Happy ending for me, but gave me a great, early appreciation for the gift of sight!
Gos Bless you, Ami!
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Yeah, glasses are a nusiance. I think I was the first person who asked for bifocal glasses. I was working where I needed the lower part too read the monitors and I would always take the reading glasses off and leave them on the desk in the nurses station. What a drag so bifocals worked really fine then.
Also a few years back I fell and bopped the back of my head a really good jolt and immediaately had double vision. Along with a mild concussion I had apparently injured my 5th cranial nerve in my skull. I still have double vision without my glasses but it is a bit better now.
The fact that I do not seem to see well as I used to did not impress the Opthamologist as he assured me that my glasses were just fine. I don’t believe him but I use a magnifiying glass on the finer print in the newspaper and magazines. Such is life.
Enjoy your new specs. They look great on you. Nancy
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Ami,
LOL!! Thanks so much. I needed a good laugh! I have worn glasses since 1st grade, so I can totally sympathize. I don’t have any idea where the years are going. I thought that they were exaggerating when they said that the years start going by faster and faster, but they are!
Good luck with your irony pile. They look scrumptious! Can’t wait to hear from Madison again, too. He has a great take on life, jusst like his Mom!
Happy quilting.
Rosemraie
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LOL. You’re taking me down memory lane…
Here’s another benefit to those ‘shortening’ lenses. You no longer have to shave your legs until your husband says “Um, are you planning to harvest those hairs or waiting to braid them?” because with your glasses off in the shower, you have NO extra hair visible anywhere!
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Thanks Ami. I just returned from a 4 day school board convention in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and I needed a laugh. Six hours of freeway driving each way and all those sessions over 4 days…I am ready to crash (no pun intended). I went thru the same things when I got my first bifocals. Those curbs and steps are never the same again.
Thanks again…you always brighten my day.
Pat in Wisconsin
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