September 2001

September 2001
Dear Mom,

I flunked again. NERTS! (Sorry.)

Itís just that I tried so hard and the darn traffic thing did me in again. Instead of getting better, I was getting worse. Apparently my ďlucky traffic danceĒ that I do so I donít think about the potential danger of getting a foot or other body part accidentally smooshed under a tire or something looks a lot like tucking tail and heading for the cafeteria. ( Everybodyís a critic.)

They were real nice at PAWS when they told me. They called Miss Ami at home but she was out in Pennsylvania at the quilt show teaching and they were kind of afraid to tell her that I got ďcareer-changedĒ AGAIN Ďcause they thought sheíd dissolve into a puddle of mush. But they did anyway and she took it real good.

Miss Ami got first dibs on me. They said she could have me back and she came and got me on Friday. It was so funny. I didnít know she was coming or anything so I was with Courtney and the other trainers just hangin out and talking, you know. Well they took me over to one of the offices and told me to listen. I was busy interacting with them, so you know, I wanted to finish my thought first. Then I heard Miss Amiís voice. Then I saw her. Well I was so excited I just went NUTS with happiness.

I licked her up one side and down the other and ran around the whole office while I did it. They had to hold me down because my tail was wagging so hard they thought Iíd break it against the desk. Mom, she smelled GREAT! I missed her so much. I forgot to wait for her to close her mouth before I gave her face kisses, but a couple of spits and she was OK.

We drove home lookiní at each other. Miss Ami had her hand on my head the whole time and kept talkiní to me and stuff. I guess she missed me too.

As soon as I got home I smelled the house (it was the same as before) and then Miss Ami showed me the buttons they made using me as a puppy. Iím famous now and I can still help leader dogs by raising money. I might not be a model dog, but Iím a dog model.

Miss Ami has really porked up without me here to take her for walks every morning. I am so good at walking now she can hardly believe it. I donít try and swallow all the acorns and I donít sniff the gutter any more.

Miss Ami says I have to behave really good now if Iím going to be a forever pet. I canít snarf stuff or barf, and she says no more eating fabric because she doesnít want to have to pull it out my other end. (I told her I didnít mind Ďcause it is so tasty, but apparently Miss Ami minds a lot.)

Aunt JoAnne told Miss Ami she can do lots of training stuff now that Iím not a working dog. She told her to give me cat kibble for treats when I do something good. Well, let me tell you, Mom, Iíve been so good Iím going to start to meow soon.

Since Iím not a ďFuture AnythingĒ dog, I canít go to restaurants any more, or hang out at the mall or go to movies. But I can fetch and play Frisbee and roll around in dirt, and eat grass as long as I donít throw up. Miss Ami says we ought to see what Fly Ball is all about, and I think Iíd like to learn how to climb trees and sit on windowsills.

So, now that Iím out of work (am I ďlaid offĒ or ďretired?Ē) the world is my oyster, whatever those are. Iím looking forward to being a dog of leisure and part time model.

Iíll keep you posted.