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The Ami-Simms-Newsletter
January 2002

WELCOME
I just bit my cheek! What's with THAT! I've been chewing for almost half a century. You would have thought I'd have eating all figured out by now. Actually, it's not food I was chomping on. It was PEANUT BRITTLE. Mmmmm...

The only thing that dulls the pain is knowing you're here reading this. Thanks for opening this particular piece of e-mail. Welcome!

SIMPLY QUILTS
If you've been to my website lately you noticed that I've been on Simply Quilts again. Actually, I taped it back in July, but segment #743 aired for the first time on January 8th. Thanks to an alert reader I was able to (gag) watch myself on television. You have no idea how strange that feels. You sort of know what's coming, but not really. I would liken it to watching a car wreck in slow motion.

I remember being there, but some things still took me totally by surprise. (Did I really just push that sample off the counter onto the floor?!) Just proves that it's impossible to hide certain quirks no matter how hard you try!

Actually, I'm just glad I didn't throw up. I had to wear another pair of glasses when we taped because my current lenses go dark with sunlight. (Apparently studio lights have the same effect.) So, a few weeks before, I got another frame just like the ones I always wear and found my old lenses and had them put in it. It would have been a good idea to wear them for a few hours BEFORE going on camera to get used to the old prescription again.

For all the kind people who sent me a congratulatory e-mail: thank you! For all those who were inspired to get a hold of Picture Play Quits to learn how to make the Hugs & Kisses quilt I showed on Simply Quilts: thank you, too!

Now that you have your book, with the cool plastic templates "booger-glued" to the back cover (I love saying that); you need to swap some fabric. Head over to and get swapping!

If you're without book, go to . We can fix that. Autographed copies, free fabric. Such a deal.

REDECORATING
We've lived in our house for twelve years and I've rearranged the furniture, let's see...once. When we moved in. I do move it every once in a while to clean behind it, but I always put it back where the carpet dimples are. Can you believe I'm that dull?

I have been re-arranging things at MalleryPress.com, however. I get in there almost daily, but you'd probably only notice changes about every two weeks. That's when I change pictures on the home page.

In any case, I've moved things around and didn't want you to miss things you thought were there. The "Ask A Quilt Shop" section is now over under REALLY USEFUL LINKS. That's also where you'll find "Hire A Machine Quilter" as well. Quilt shops and machine quilters already listed should contact me. There is now room for a picture for their page. I have some suggestions.

CYBERSPACE SHOW & TELL
Three more quilts are finished and on display. Check out Rosalie Keegan's beautiful string quilt (you'll get a kick out of the story), Lori Eustis' Sweet Dreams PPQ (have you ever seen such a happy gal?) and Jeanne McBrayer's "Window On The World" PPQ (read where it wound up!).

Great job, quilters! Remember, if you've ever taken a workshop with me or made a quilt using one of my patterns, send me a photo for my web site. Instructions on how to do that are on the QUILTS page. That's also where you should go to see ALL "Shows & Tells." Click QUILTS on the navigation bar, and then select the type of quilt you'd like to be inspired by.

OH NO, NOT AGAIN!
And, the last of the current web page updates features the return of the infamous Worst Quilt In The World Contest(r). Virtually, that is. There is no contest, but past contest entries from the first year (including the Grand Prize Winner and the Abominable Mentions) are up there for your viewing pleasure. Place an open barf bag on your lap and take a look at .

SPEAKING OF BARF BAGS
You're never going to believe this, or maybe you will, but there is a whole web page devoted to barf bags. Why go there, you ask? I happen to know that, as threatened, there is a group of quilters from Missouri "assuming the position" .

Once the information for the Barf Bag Poster pops up, stroll over to the navigation bar on the left hand side and click on GALLERY.

Steve Silberberg, curator of the Air Sickness Bag Virtual Museum, has quite an extensive collection. Barf bag aficionados and airline personnel by the way, call them "happy sacks."

COW/PIGS/HORSES/FISH
Thanks to readers Sandra, Susan, Sara, and Charlotte, the list goes on and on. It seems huge paint-able critters are all the rage in major cities from coast to coast. Check out these links. They are really amazing.

For pigs see For fish see For gators see For pelicans see And, repeated from the last newsletter just in case you forgot: Cows in Houston Horses in Ocala, FL

SPEAKING OF AMAZING
Chris T. alerted me to this extraordinary web site featuring Fraser Smith, an artist who paints quilts on wood. No, wait, they're carved. And stained. You won't believe how beautiful these are. His work will blow you away. Drop everything and check out .

I think you all should chip in a little something and get me one for my birthday, OK?

WIN COOL STUFF
One of the three winners for the last drawing have not claimed their prize.... I think you should go take a look at and see if you won anything! While you're there, enter the drawing for the MYSTERY PRIZE this month. Oooooooooooh! So mysterious!

BID ON A COOL QUILT
Help support Leader Dogs For The Blind by bidding on my eBay.com auction. All proceeds of this sale will go directly to this fine charity.

These are the quilts YOU helped make. I will try to auction at last one every month. Visit to bid. Please be generous.

TIME WARP
I've decided it's easier to keep track of things like the WIN COOL STUFF page, and my life in general, if my newsletter went out on (or at least NEAR) the FIRST of every month instead of in the middle. It would be less stressful.

(Actually, I think I started sending out the newsletter, way back when, on the first of the month and I've just gotten later and later.)

There are two ways to accomplish the reordering of my universe: dilly-dally on the newsletter until it gets late enough to send it out at the beginning of the next month rather than at the middle of the current month, OR write two newsletters one right after the other.

To relieve the pressure in my life and lower my stress level, I've opted for the second option. Yes, you'll be getting another newsletter on February 1. (Just about the time I'm ready to have my head examined.) So don't be shocked if you get another newsletter right away.

Until next time,
Quilt up a storm!

Ami Simms
www.MalleryPress.com LINKS
Ami's Web Page
Swap Fabric
Picture Play Quilts
REALLY USEFUL LINKS
Rosalie's Quilt
Lori's Quilt
Jeanne's Quilt
Quilts
Worst Quilt In The World Contest(tm)
Barf Bag Web Page
PIGS
FISH
GATORS
PELICANS
COWS (Houston)
HORSES (FL)
Artist FRASER SMITH
WIN COOL STUFF
Leader Dogs For The Blind
Ami's Quilt Auction